Archive for June, 2014

The New Class Season 1, Episode 12: “Tommy A”

The New Class Season 1, Episode 12: “Tommy A”

Have I really only done eleven of these episodes before this week? As much torture as it’s been, I feel like I should be at least half way through the series. Oh well, let’s see what torture the writers have in store for me this week.

Oh, yay, Weasel is obsessing about mid-year finals. What the hell are those supposed to be anyway? They’ve used the term “mid-term” lots of times in the original series but the only thing I can figure is that these are finals occurring after the end of the first semester. read more

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Saved by the Bell Season 2, Episode 8: “Miss Bayside”

Saved by the Bell Season 2, Episode 8: “Miss Bayside”

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We open with a new set: the auditorium, where Zack Morris, for some reason, is spouting crap from the stage despite the fact he’s in no real position of authority.vlcsnap-2014-06-19-21h06m01s162

Solidarity, comrades!
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Everyone in the audience is ecstatic about the upcoming Miss Bayside pageant, including our four main characters who conveniently happen to be in the front row because that’s where it’s easiest for the camera man to shoot them.

Predictably, the only person in the school opposed to the beauty contest is Jessie, whose rantings of, “Girl power! I’m not a piece of meat! Mr. Belding out of my vagina!” continue into the next scene at The Max. Yeah, this is a running theme throughout this episode: Jessie blaming Mr. Belding personally for the beauty contest despite the fact it’s been established this is a statewide competition that Mr. Belding probably has little control over. Whatever, though, because it’s time for conflict! Jessie convinces Kelly to boycott the pageant and form a picket line with her and Kelly’s all, “Let’s make signs with pink and sparkles and glitter!” read more

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Season 1, Episode 8, “Slice of Life”

Season 1, Episode 8, “Slice of Life”

This week’s episode, “Slice of Life,” opens in the kitchen for a change. Ha Ha.

Jason mentions how coffee is an aphrodisiac—(i.e, makes you more romantic). Upon hearing this, Maggie wants more.

They hear a loud crash and in come Ben and Carol. Ben’s mad at Carol for turning off his water from an HOUR-AND-A-HALF shower. Ben’s reasoning for this colossal waste of resources is he wanted to break the world record for most time under water, which is 12 days.

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Seeing how sad he is from not breaking the record, Carol agrees to help him break another one. Jason and Maggie get back to what they’re doing when they’re interrupted by Mike, who wants to take karate lessons. But I don’t understand how he already has the uniform when he hasn’t taken a lesson yet???? read more

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Desperately Seeking Serena. Episode 1×15.

Desperately Seeking Serena. Episode 1×15.

The Key to bitchy awesomeness has arrived. Buffy fans have probably caught on to the fact that Michelle Trachtenberg might be guest-starring at some point with the Key references. What they don’t know is that her character will be much more Kathryn’s little sister from Cruel Intentions than Buffy’s annoying kid sister Dawn.

Why, you ask? I mean, she’s already sent Serena porn, handcuffs, cocaine and champagne. What else can she do?

Don’t answer that question.

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The gang is preparing for the SATs. read more

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The New Class Season 1, Episode 11: “Weasel Love”

The New Class Season 1, Episode 11: “Weasel Love”

Yes, if there’s something we definitely needed more of, it’s Weasel episodes. Thank goodness the writers of this show saw fit to give us one more this season.

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So remember back in high school how the solution to everything was to hold a dance? Remember how even the orchestra held a dance as a fundraiser? Me either, which must be why the writers of this show thought it would make for a good plot.vlcsnap-2014-06-15-22h00m33s130

We open with…Kirby, Vicki, Lindsay, and Megan…in the middle of the hallway…playing their instruments. You know what, if this is the strangest thing that happens this episode, I won’t even question it. After all, these halls have sen a lot worse than a fake classical performance. I say fake because Vicki and Kirby stop playing in the middle of he piece to argue about Kirby hitting Vicki in ribs with his bow. The music keeps on playing without a beat lost as they’re advertising, indicating that Bayside was getting in on the Milli Vanilli style. And, through the power of exposition, Lindsay tells us that the purpose of the fund raiser is to get enough money to buy a new psychic piano for the orchestra. read more

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