Archive for March, 2015

The New Class Season 3, Episode 12: “Prom Dates”

The New Class Season 3, Episode 12: “Prom Dates”

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Yes, it’s prom time at Bayside, and get ready for the worst prom episode in the history of this franchise. We open with Tommy D and Ryan both trying to wow Lindsay and get her to go to the prom with them so they can have her for the after party. Tommy D even recites the worst poem known to man:

Roses are red,
Violets are not,
Blah, blah blah,
I think you’re hot.

I would say this is the laziest excuse for writing in the history of everything, but what do you expect out of this show at this point? Lindsay’s not overly impressed with either of their efforts and tells them they’re going to have to back the fuck off and let her decide. read more

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Season 3, Episode 2, “Aloha: Part 2”

Season 3, Episode 2, “Aloha: Part 2”

This week, we conclude the Seavers’ trip to Hawaii.

But first a recap of last week’s boring episode.

The episode starts with Mike and Melia walking and talking on the beach. They realize the strong connection they have in only spending a little time together.

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They share a long kiss and go swimming in the ocean.

We cut to Jason, who’s at the restaurant, alone. Then Maggie shows up and they role play by using fake names and acting like they’ve never met.

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Mike and Melia left the beach, and Melia is showing Mike his home. She lives with her mother, grandfather, grandmother and uncle. Mike’s surprised that she has no interest in finding a place of her own. Turns out she has a daughter to, which makes Mike realize the situation he’s gotten himself into. read more

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Saved by the Bell Season 4, Episode 3: “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce”

Saved by the Bell Season 4, Episode 3: “Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce”

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We open to discover that Punky Brewster’s transferred to Bayside from 90210. Whoa, that’s like a super ’80s and ’90s mash-up right there! Zack Morris is naturally the first to notice Punky around and his dick goes “Boing!” Zack Morris asks Punky out on a date but she wants nothing to do with him because he drives a classic car, which is news to me but oh well. Wait…what does she have against classic cars? Some girls would kill to ride in one! Seriously, this makes no sense! read more

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The New Class Season 3, Episode 11: “Ryan’s Worst Nightmare”

The New Class Season 3, Episode 11: “Ryan’s Worst Nightmare”

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We open in the gym, where the gang have been tasked with constructing a float for, get this, the Bayside-Westwood Sports Weekend. I’m…speechless. Westwood isn’t their rival and I fail to understand why there’s an entire weekend devoted to their sports. This show just keeps getting dumber and dumber.
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And even dumber is allowing Tommy D to paint Lindsay’s face on the cheerleader. So…Tommy D thinks Lindsay looks like Sailor Moon with crooked teeth and too much mascara? vlcsnap-2015-02-23-15h26m31s48 read more

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Saved by the Bell Season 4, Episode 2: “Student Teacher Week”

Saved by the Bell Season 4, Episode 2: “Student Teacher Week”

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We open at a school assembly where Jessie has a throw away gag about a ventriloquist dummy dying that has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the episode but which Zack Morris and Slater think is hilarious. Zack Morris and Slater, for some reason, announce that Slater, as star quarterback, is going to single-handed beat Valley Friday in the city championship because this episode will need some conflict in a minute. It’s nice that they just began their senior year last week and they’re already having a football championship. Finally, Mr. Belding announces that he has picked students to become teachers for Student Teacher Week based on essays the students wrote. Most of the names don’t matter because they’re not in the opening credits, but the ones we’re supposed to care about are Screech and Lisa as gym teachers and Kelly as a history teacher. read more

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