Archive for June, 2015

They Shoot Humphrey’s, Don’t They? Episode 3×09.

They Shoot Humphrey’s, Don’t They? Episode 3×09.

One can only hope, regarding this week’s episode title.

Last week, we fell asleep as a bunch of shit happened. Jimmy Fallon guest starred as himself, the Hilary Duff shit continued (she had an interview with Fallon and got Lonely Boy Dan renamed Bathroom Boy), and Blair pushed Serena into a cake at an election party. Right.

I am beginning to feel we were lied to about the threesome, and it was something imaginary the CW put out there in hopes people would tune in for the chance of a threesome.

It’s cotillion time on the Upper East Side! Oh joy! Now Jenny will be even a bigger bitch and bore us even more! Jenny still hasn’t found the proper escort for the event. Maybe she could borrow a monkey from the Bronx Zoo? read more

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The New Class Season 3, Episode 25: “The Christmas Gift”

The New Class Season 3, Episode 25: “The Christmas Gift”

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What? We’re not going to wait another six weeks to go back to the ski lodge? It’s a Christmas miracle, folks!

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And it is Christmas at the ski lodge, where Mr. Belding’s bitching and moaning about being made to dress in funny costumes since he’s at the beck and call of the crazy spotted hoot owls now.

Grandpa Ernie announces that the ski lodge is magically back on its feet after only a few days of the gang working there so he’s going to start paying them for their work. To call this a plot contrivance is an insult to plot contrivances everywhere. No, this is more like, “We’re tired of the plot we constructed in the last two episodes so let’s abandon it in anticipation of ripping off an unrelated Saved by the Bell episode!” read more

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Season 3, Episode 14, “The Marrying Kind”

Season 3, Episode 14, “The Marrying Kind”

Carol and Bobby are coming back from the winter formal. They start making out, which is when Mike comes up to them. He’s timing them and claims that we have a new record for how long Bobby and Carol have made out.

I’m sure they’ve done it longer than that.

Carol makes Mike go inside, for being a pig. Then Bobby sits Carol down and tells her he loves her. She says she loves him back. Out of nowhere, Bobby pulls out a ring and proposes to Carol.

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What!

The episode cuts to the theme before we can get a reaction out of Carol. read more

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Saved by the Bell Season 4, Episode 16: “Slater’s Sister”

Saved by the Bell Season 4, Episode 16: “Slater’s Sister”

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We open with Zack Morris looking surprised that the camera caught him talking on the phone. Who was he talking to? I have two guesses: either a phone sex line or Dionne Warwick’s Psychic Friends Network, who told him that his mystical powers would soon allow him to break the fourth wall. Oh, Saved by the Bell, you never cease to amaze me with how nonsensical you can be!

Anyway, Zack Morris lets us in on the plot of the week: that Bayside is holding a ’50s style Sock Hop! Geez, this season was really scraping the bottom of the barrel for plot ideas, weren’t they? I mean, at this point, it doesn’t even seem like they’re trying. It’s like watching Dustin Diamond’s career: it started out with such promise and then crashed and burned! read more

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The Grandfather Part II. Episode 3×08.

The Grandfather Part II. Episode 3×08.

Oh. Great. To follow up that snoozeville Halloween episode, they’re going to give us a Vanderbilt political episode? WTF (definitely not watch this fall)

OR

Even worse, someone’s grandfather is part of that still not seen threesome!

If this didn’t air in 2009, I’d say Gossip Girl was trying to cash in on another show

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Serena’s PR relationship with Patrick Roberts is getting him attention in Hollywood. Now Serena has to get pictures taken of Patrick Roberts and politicians. WTF not Watch This Fall. read more

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