Category: All The New Class Episodes

The New Class Season 5, Episode 1: “Desperately Seeking Work”

The New Class Season 5, Episode 1: “Desperately Seeking Work”

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Our season opens with a sight unrealistic even for Reno 911: Screech as a mall security guard. Yes, some idiot decided it would be a good idea to give Screech authority over shit because that always works out well. Also, it would seem that Yukon Yogurt went out of business as there’s a new store in its place and Mr. Belding basically wanders around the mall most of the episode with the excuse he’s buying presents for Little Zack’s birthday, but I’m beginning to think he doesn’t want to go home anymore. At least Mr. Belding admits that he doesn’t have much time between work and having a family. I just wish he’d realized that two seasons ago when he started taking random jobs. read more

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The New Class Season 4 Recap

The New Class Season 4 Recap

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Ah, another season, another year of The New Class that I’d rather forget ever happened. But yet, try as I might to forget, I really did sit through another twenty-six episodes of pure, unadulterated shit because, yes, that’s what it was. Not a single episode I truly like and at least one hit a new low for me.

And yet, this was even after a bunch of changes, both behind the scenes and in front. Gone are half of our characters from season three, again, replaced with fresh faces that will be with us until the end of the series. I don’t know how to sum up my feelings on these three. They’re not particularly irritating the way R.J. or Tommy D were, and Katie’s just as bland a character, if not more so, than Lindsay. But I have no emotional investment in these people, and I’m sure the people who were watching in 1996 didn’t either. After all, with this series’ track record, we could be replacing the entire cast for season five. read more

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The New Class Season 4, Episode 26: “Fire at the Max, Part 2”

The New Class Season 4, Episode 26: “Fire at the Max, Part 2”

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We open with Mr. Russell and the gang sans Ryan entering the lightly burned remains of The Max. They thank Mr. Russell for giving them one last chance to say goodbye to the shitty restaurant. Mr. Russell says it’s no problem since he has some paperwork to randomly do in a burned out building since burned out, potentially unsafe buildings are the best place to do paperwork. Plus they were randomly going in and out of the building last week so they might as well.

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The gang sit in their old booth, the remains apparently still recognizable after this horrible fire, and recount what happened in the last episode, especially emphasizing how Ryan wants to transfer. read more

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The New Class Season 4, Episode 25: “Fire at the Max, Part 1”

The New Class Season 4, Episode 25: “Fire at the Max, Part 1”

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Ah, Christmas at The Max! Unfortunately for me, Santa didn’t bring me the cancellation of this awful show. Well, there’s always next Christmas, if I’m so lucky. But it’s nice to see the writers of this show know the climate of Southern California so well they dressed our gang like they’re expecting snowfall any moment. Way to fuck up in the first few seconds there, guys.

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But the plot contrivance fairy did visit because Ryan, the guy who’s been characterized the last two seasons as being lazy and refusing to get a job is now working at The Max, and there’s absolutely no reason for it except that it’s convenient to the plot. I seriously think this is the laziest this show has ever sunk. The only way they could have done worse is have Screech spontaneously combust and cause the titular fire. Oh, wait, that would have been awesome! Best episode ever! read more

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The New Class Season 4, Episode 24: “Stealing Screech”

The New Class Season 4, Episode 24: “Stealing Screech”

Oh! Could this be a Christmas miracle!?!?! Could someone be taking Screech away from this show? If so, I say they can keep them! Oh, hallelujah! This could be the event that’s so miraculous it makes atheists believe in a god!

No, of course that’s not what this episode is about because, as we’ve established many times, the universe hates me. A lot. As such, it likes to see me suffer around this series.

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We open in Mr. Belding’s office, where we learn that Valley beat Bayside in basketball. Well, maybe part of the problem is your spirit banner was tucked away in Mr. Belding’s office so no one knew to give a shit! This upsets Mr. Belding because Valley’s principal, Mr. Huffington, likes to gloat. I guess the producers were too cheap to bring back Mr. Stingwell from the original series even though they’ve brought back more minor characters. read more

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